A version of this appeared in The Virginian-Pilot on Jan 20, 2007

Let's walk through a medical minefield together.

Merck & Co., a major drug manufacturer, has developed a vaccine called Gardasil that protects against some forms of the sexually transmitted human papillomavirus. Another pharmaceutical company is nearly ready to market something similar.

Good.

Experts claim HPV vaccines can protect women against cervical cancer.

Terrific.

For the vaccine to work, it should be administered before a woman becomes sexually active.

Logical.

So, health professionals recommend that girls as young as 11 receive the shots.

Troubling.

There's only one conclusion to be drawn by this tender age limit: more than a few girls are having sex at 12.

These waifs don't need a vaccine. They need morals. And parents to tell them not to have sex in middle school, lest they catch a nasty disease. Like genital warts, which are not prevented by the shots.

Then again, who needs parents when you have state government?

Enter Del. Phillip Hamilton of Newport News. He's introduced HB2035, which would add the HPV vaccine to the list of inoculations girls will need to enter sixth grade in the fall of 2008. You read that correctly. Sixth grade.

This isn't just a single shot. It's a series of three. The cost is about $360, and according to news reports, some health insurance companies don't cover it.

Not to worry. On Friday, Hamilton told me that once the vaccine is mandatory, chances are insurance companies will pay.

Hang on to your wallets, folks. This is going to cost us.

"If it becomes mandatory, the health department has to offer it for free," Hamilton acknowledged.

Of course, taxpayers fund the health departments, so we'll get to pay - twice. Once in our insurance premiums and again in our taxes.

The price for this medical munificence? When I spoke to him, Hamilton didn't have the data.

The delegate does know he's against cancer, though. Hamilton told me that if drug companies develop vaccines against other cancers - prostate or colon, for instance - he'd support making those immunizations mandatory, too.

The justification for all this government meddling in our immune systems requires a leap of logic that Hamilton has made: You must equate the danger of HPV with devastating diseases such as polio.

Sorry, delegate. There's no comparison. HPV can be controlled by behavior. Behavior that shouldn't be going on in middle school.

Parents who think it's a good idea to vaccinate their little girls against sexually transmitted diseases can do it. No need for a mandate.

You may wonder why Hamilton introduced this measure.

Is he responding to parental demand? Is he doing this because pediatricians think it's a swell idea?

Nope. In fact, The Pilot reported that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the vaccine but isn't yet asking states to make it mandatory.

According to news reports, Hamilton, chairman of the House Committee on Health, Welfare and Institutions, introduced this bill at the behest of the pharmaceutical industry.

Let's at least be honest and call this the Merck Mandate. How many votes would that get?