I am not what I would call a heavy drinker. 

(Although your definition may differ from mine.) 

In fact, a few years ago I stopped drinking during the week - except on book club nights, wine tasting nights, dinner party nights or on nights when it’s stifling out and I’m thirsty for a margarita - so most weeks I cram all of my imbibing into three days. 

Unless there’s a Monday holiday, which I consider to be part of the weekend. 

If you’re like me and getting ready to enjoy a few Friday cocktails to mark the start of a lovely summer weekend, do not worry a bit about work on Monday.

Chances are, the teetotalers in your office will call in sick before you do. That’s because they have a higher risk of “work absence due to mental and musculoskeletal disorders and diseases of the digestive and respiratory system.“

Hah. 

This delightful nugget comes to us from the esteemed Finnish Institute of Occupational Health, which studied the work habits of 47,000 European drinkers and non-drinkers and published their findings in the Addiction Journal. (One of my favorite periodicals.) 

Guess who make the best employees? Yep, drinkers. Moderate drinkers. Seems we always show up to work, perhaps because a couple of Advil washed down with Red Bull is enough to get us out of the house in the morning and feeling right by lunchtime.

Heavy drinkers have about the same rate of absenteeism as non-drinkers. But boozers tend to miss work due to “injury or poisoning,” according to the Finnish researchers.

This is just the latest study showing moderate drinking to be the key to happiness and a long life, while teetotaling is the plodding path to short, miserable existence, plagued by musculoskeletal disorders and bad digestion.

Oh, and according to this study, there's even good news for heavy drinkers: They live longer than abstainers. 

Cheers! Have a great weekend.