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Provoked Over Peloton?

I’ve been waiting for it. Bet you have too. 

After all, it’s Christmas. Time to gin up a dose of righteous Yuletide indignation.

For a few years, some Americans spent the Christmas season fuming over shopkeepers and clerks who greeted them with those loathsome words, “Happy Holidays” instead of the salutation Jesus commanded us to use every December: “MERRY CHRISTMAS.”

Next, a handful of politically correct music haters discovered the 1944 duet, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” and decreed it too “rapey” for today’s fragile listening audience. As a result, some pajama boy wrote new cringe-inducing lyrics that aren’t worth playing and now you hardly ever hear this sexy song on the radio.

Still, the Dolly Parton/Rod Stewart version remains my favorite.

This year? 

There isn’t much Christmas rage out there, but America does seem to be coalescing around a universal dislike for the new 30-second Peloton “The Gift That Gives Back“ TV commercial.

Perhaps you’ve seen it. It features a gamine young mother, who apparently has trouble sticking to an exercise routine. She’s given a high-tech stationary bike on Christmas morning by her loving husband. She sweats and pedals as the seasons change outside her panoramic windows, all the while making a year-long video of herself on the contraption. At the end of the ad she shows the video to her hubby and thanks him for changing her life.

Awww.

Last time I checked, this ad had twice as many down votes as thumbs up. Not good. And Peloton’s stock plummeted this week with the mocking social media blowback from the commercial. Some people seem to be genuinely upset with what they claim is a sexist ad. Others are simply bemused or irritated by it: The skinny woman. The perfect house. The stunning vistas. The endless windows.

I don’t dislike the ad, but I can’t relate to it either. Then again, the Peloton isn’t being marketed to aging Boomers like me. Although the company perhaps ought to realize that mine may be the generation best able to afford such an extravagance.

Like most folks, I don’t have the house for a Peloton. I don’t have floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking a perfectly landscaped estate. Shoot, if I had a Peloton I’d have to squeeze it into a windowless corner somewhere. Within a month, it would have laundry hanging from the handlebars. 

My only real objection to this ad is the look of terror on the wife’s face as she prepares to mount the Peloton for the first time.

For crying out loud, woman, this is a stationary bike. You’re not going skydiving.

The only thing scary about a Peloton is the price.

It’s the Lamborghini of home exercise equipment. A new Peloton bike will set you back about $2,000 and offers live-streaming and on-demand spin classes to keep you motivated. Beyond the initial purchase price, there’s a $39 a month fee to take classes.

This is a toy for those with lots of loot and who don’t enjoy the camaraderie of a sweaty gym.

In other words, the Peloton is perfect for reclusive rich folks who give each other luxury cars at Christmas. Not the unwashed who exchange bedroom slippers, scarves and gloves on Dec. 25th.

No begrudgery here, though. Let the wealthy have their fun.

Instead of taking part in the phony outrage over a silly ad, let’s all think about how toasty we’ll be later this month, when we head to the gym in our brand new Christmas mittens.

See you there.