According to my Nextdoor Neighborhood App, a man was seen exposing himself on the 59th Street beach Sunday morning.

Lovely. I hope no children were around to see this pervert.

I can think of only one way to guarantee that this never happens again: Ban men from the beach. 

OK, I’ll admit that’s a tad extreme. And, yes, it’s true millions of well-behaved guys go to the beach without ever dropping their drawers. But we should be able to take our tots to the beach without EVER  looking at some freak’s wiener.

 No men. No wieners. Problem solved.

I’m kidding, of course. 

But this is the sort of logic being used by Virginia Beach Animal Control, which is lobbying to change the city’s liberal leash law. There were 11 bad dogs running loose on the beach last year, so authorities suddenly want all dogs on leashes.

Yep, the thousands of well-behaved dogs who chase tennis balls and Frisbees and seagulls will have to be tethered all because 11 morons let their vicious dogs off their leashes last year and these rotten animals bit someone or attacked a peace-loving dog.

Here’s the current law:

City Code 6-5. - Animals on Beach and Adjacent Areas allows dogs on any city beach off of their leash and under control of the owner. The only exceptions are from Memorial Day to Labor Day. During this time frame:

• Dogs are not allowed on the beach from Rudee Inlet to 42nd Street. 

• Dogs are not allowed on all other beaches from 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Note: Dogs must be under the control of their owners. At. All. Times.

I don’t have a dog in this fight. My two toy poodles hate the beach. But hundreds of dogs and the people who love them take advantage of this law every single day without incident. It’s a glorious thing to walk along the water and watch happy canines frolicking in the surf.

It takes just one vicious mongrel to ruin it for all the others, doesn’t it? Or rather 11 out-of-control curs.

The drumbeat for the leash laws began last summer after two pit bulls savagely mauled a little Maltipoo named “Blizzard” on the beach at 55th Street. The owner of the vicious dogs grabbed his beasts after the attack and ran away.

I read that poor little Blizzard was euthanized that night.

A couple of months earlier, in May, two pit bulls attacked a 6-year-old Shar Pei named “Bella” on the beach at 48th Street. She was badly injured but reportedly recovered. And the cowardly owner of those two pit bulls ? He also turned tail. 

What is it with these people and their bully breed dogs?

In 2014, I wrote about another savage pit bull attack on a Yorkie at Chic’s Beach. That little fella, Stoley, died too. His owner, a woman with Down syndrome, was heartbroken. The owner of that vicious dog also disappeared, of course.

We all know what the problem is, but few will articulate it. Heck, I’ve taken on the foaming pit bull lobby before and these people don’t scare me.

The problem is mostly pit bulls. 

Ban that breed - or at least require that those animals be kept on short leashes - and the beaches will be far safer.

Let’s stop pretending all dogs are created equal. They aren’t. There’s a reason Michael Vick wasn’t raising poodles, Pomeranians and pugs on his dog-fighting farm in Surry.

Some dogs were bred to be lapdogs, some were bred to retrieve ducks and some were bred to fight.

The latter have no business running loose on our beaches.