I want to go to Japan. And I know just how I want to get there:

Japan Airlines.

That wonderful, innovative, customer-friendly airline has quietly begun to offer “baby maps” of its aircraft cabins, so that passengers who don’t want to sit next to a squalling infant can find a seat a few rows away when they book their flights. Seats that are occupied by someone eight weeks to two years old are clearly marked with a baby icon.

This means passengers on Japan Airlines never have to sit next to a bawling baby or one with a reeking diaper, unless the culprit is their own kid.

Bliss.

I don’t mean to offend parents who travel with future adults, but most of us enjoy other peoples’ babies from a safe distance.

I once was that mother, shushing her offspring and praying that he or she wouldn’t need a fresh diaper until we touched down. Inevitably, whichever tiny human was traveling with me would erupt mid-flight in ear-splitting shrieks that no amount of cuddling could quell.

Did I blame anyone for not wanting to sit in my row? Nope. Heck, I didn’t want to be there either. I was tempted to strap my infant in and quietly move.

Once one airline adopts a policy, others are likely to follow. Remember when American Airlines became the first “legacy” carrier to charge a checked bag fee in 2008? In about five minutes every other airline but Southwest followed suit.

With a little luck, baby maps may be coming to America.

Hey, why stop with infants and toddlers?

One of the worst flights I ever endured was a 2018 Delta trip from New Orleans to Atlanta when I “shared” a two-seat row with a 400-pound man who was so enormous that we couldn’t lower the armrest. I spent that endless trip - it seemed to take 10 hours - flattened against the window.

I unleashed a Tweet storm about my uncomfortable situation and Delta calmed me down with free drink coupons, while explaining that company policy does not require supersized passengers to buy an extra ticket. Petite people simply have to absorb the problem.

A map showing where extra-large passengers are sitting would be useful.

Beyond that, I’d like a map pointing out where every seat kicker is located. Every drunk, too.

While we’re pinpointing the location of problem fliers, what about a guide to travelers who’ve eaten garlic in the past 24 hours? Seriously. A seatmate oozing that awful aroma from every pore can turn a quick commuter flight into a trip that leaves you praying for the oxygen masks to drop.

Same goes for passengers who don’t bathe. Couldn’t airlines use a little Charles Schulz “Pig Pen” icon to indicate a passenger with poor hygiene?

And why not a LeBron James icon to point out tall people, so those of us who don’t need to recline our seats can find a spot behind another shorty who will keep his or her seat back in an upright position?

One last request - if the airlines are listening - how about a map indicating where all the comfort animals are squatting, along with a description of the species so we know if it’s an airborne chihuahua or miniature horse in the middle seat?

This is all wishful thinking, of course. A travel expert told The Washington Post that American carriers will probably not go the baby map route for fear of blowback from passengers.

I dunno, some of us would blow them kisses.