There are very few rules for shopping mall Santas. 

Have a clean criminal record. Be cheerful. And don’t promise the kids anything. Remember to remain merry and noncommittal when the child asks for a pony or a trip to Disney World.

You never say no. And you never say yes.

Those regs have been around since I was a kid.

Unfortunately, Woke Santa - at the Harlem Irving Plaza Mall in Norridge, Illinois - ignored them.

Last weekend, when this red-suited liberal asked 4-year-old Michael DeCarlo what he wanted for Christmas, the shy boy replied, “A Nerf gun.”

“Nope, no. No guns,” Santa spat back.

Michael’s mom, standing nearby recording the encounter, repeated “‘NERF gun” to Santa, thinking Old St. Nick had a hearing problem. 

“Nope, not even a Nerf gun,’’ the sourpuss insisted. “If your dad wants to get it for you, that’s fine, but I can’t bring it to you.

“What else would you like? Lots of other toys. Legos. There’s bicycles. There’s cars and trucks. What do you think?”

Michael began to cry and as his mother, Sabella DeCarlo, comforted him she whispered, “You’re getting it.”

Here’s another mall Santa rule: Never say anything that makes parents intervene and tell the kids you’re full of it.

“I was just in shock,” Sabella told “Fox & Friends,"“I just wanted to get him out of there. It's not like he asked for a unicorn or a puppy, he asked for a toy that they sell in every retailer even at that mall.”

Mom posted the unpleasant episode to Facebook. A public outcry ensued. The mall sent a better Santa to the kid’s house the next day. This one was armed with a Nerf Gun and a camera crew.

Damage control, Santa-style.

The shopping mall, which uses the acronym “HIP” tried to clear the air on its Facebook page, making it plain that Woke Santa did not work for them:

The HIP and our third-party Santa company are distraught and deeply apologetic about the unfortunate incident which occurred at Santa set on December 6, as both parties strive for families and their children to have a happy holiday experience.

Santa is heartbroken and crushed that he has made this child so sad and upset, and turned in his resignation. The Santa company will continue to remind all Santa’s how important it is to not impose personal opinions during visits with the children.

I’m trying very hard to ignore that offending apostrophe as I pose this question:

What’s next? Will malls have to have two Santas? A woke one to convince boys to play with Barbies while traditional redsuits push camo and BB guns?

You’d think Santa Land would be the one place in America where we could come together and leave politics behind. 

You would be wrong.