Anyone who’s met me would be shocked to learn that I love fashion. My wardrobe may be late-20th century T.J. Maxx and my daughter may have threatened to have her newborn call me “Rags” if I didn’t buy a few new ensembles before the baby was born, but I admire haute couture, while wearing haute hobo.

Which brings us to the Oscars. There’s no better place to see a parade of crazy expensive designer frocks than on the red carpet.

And the beautiful people wearing them? They have much to teach us.

Take Jane Fonda, for instance. Love her or loathe her, the 82-year-old actress looked stunning in what I later learned was a red Elie Saab embellished gown. 

What made this choice shocking - to fashionistas, anyway - was that Fonda was sporting a dress that she’d worn once before. Can you imagine? Donning clothes twice is unheard of in Hollywood. Celebrities wear an outfit and toss it to their maids.

But this woke actress and climate activist has told anyone who will listen that she’s doing her part to save the planet by not buying any more new clothes.

Oh, the sacrifices some are making to protect the environment.

I hesitate to point this out, but I fear Jane’s copying me. I’ve worn some of the same clothes over and over for more than 30 years. In fact, just this week my daughter unearthed an embarrassing 35-year-old photo of me at a bachelorette party. She said she recognized the much younger me because of the blouse I was wearing. I still have it.

Apparently I’m a conservative climate warrior. Who knew?

Fonda’s virtue signaling didn’t stop with her retread red gown. Oh no. In social media posts Fonda boasted about her choice of awards show jewelry without mentioning whether she was paid for plugging the brand as many “influencers” are:

Ethically “harvested” gold? Seriously?

That proclamation spawned thousands of wry responses from the hoi polloi.

Is gold no longer mined? Was it grown on a farm? Did she pan for it herself? 

I’d never heard of Pomellato jewelry - they don’t carry it at T.J. Maxx or Macy’s - so I went to the company’s website.

I found her earrings: Those earbobs cost a whopping $30,400.

Fonda’s bracelets and chunky ring were not on the site - they may be custom pieces -  but I found a similar bracelet for $117,600. And rings for about $11,000.

I know what you’re thinking: BUT KERRY, THOSE JEWELS ARE ETHICALLY SOURCED. You expect to pay a little more for socially conscious jewelry.

Of course we do. And I for one want to thank this social justice warrior who’s net worth is about $200 million for sharing tips with us little people about the things we can do in our sad, ordinary lives to help save the planet.

This one is especially timely. Friday is Valentine’s Day. If you’re giving your beloved a piece of jewelry, make sure the gold’s ethically harvested and the diamonds are sustainable. Even if you have to sell your house to pay the bill.

You’ll feel so proud of yourself you’ll want to go on social media and brag about it to the world.

Just like Jane.