In the end, I caved.

I wasn’t going to spend Sunday evening watching a couple of millionaires whine to a billionaire about how miserable they are while the rest of the world struggles through a pandemic.

But curiosity got the better of me.

It was worse than I expected. In truth, the only royal I want to see interviewed is Prince Andrew, about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein. I doubt Oprah Winfrey will land him any time soon.

Pity that our Founding Fathers didn’t make it illegal for any member of the British royal family to ever settle in the U.S. 

We fought a war to get rid of these narcissistic halfwits. Now they’re coming back.

Alas, that foundational oversight brought us to where we were last night when Oprah gave one of her signature super-softball interviews to the Duchess and Duke of Sussex.

They whined. They groused. They bellyached.

At one point, Meghan came close to tears, proving that she does indeed have some acting chops.

The couple seemed especially indignant that once they “stepped away” from the royal family and moved to Canada, the taxpayers of Britain no longer paid for their security. How dare they!

Harry and Megs were so desperate that they bunked for a while at Tyler Perry’s Hollywood mansion because he offered them his security.

Unbelievable.

These two are rolling in dough. It’s worth noting that while the interview was taped at a friend’s home, they live in a $14 million mansion. In fact,  Jim Cramer’s “The Street” ballparked Harry’s worth at $40 million last year and Meghan’s at $5 million. That was before the couple’s lucrative deals with Netflix and Spotify. 

Couldn’t they simply stop sniveling, buy a Ring Doorbell and hire a couple of rent-a-cops?

Meghan - an American - moaned that Archie was not going to be a prince. She also complained that there were no classes to teach her how to be a duchess and that she had to do things like Google the British national anthem late at night .

Oh, the pain!

She said she actually took her grievances to the palace’s “HR” department and they refused to help her. Meghan noted sadly that in her old job she had a union to help. 

Yep, it appears she was disappointed there was no International Duchess Union in “The Firm.”

Meghan lamented that for a time she didn’t want to burden Harry - or “H” as she calls him - with her sadness, because he had “the weight of the world on his shoulders.”

Seriously? This guy grew up in a life of unimaginable wealth and darned few responsibilities.

I kept wondering what a roofer, or a commercial fisherman or a waitress  might think of some soft guy with a posh British accent complaining that he had to “wipe (his) tears away and be on your A game” before getting out of a car and waving to the crowds.

That’s a job? Who knew?

The pathetic prince in exile said he’d been “trapped” in the royal life, but didn’t know he was trapped until Meghan came along.

Aha. I knew it.

Then there was the question of race and whether the royal family is like the Klan only with more jewels.

Harry and Meghan insinuate that they are. They claimed that someone, an unnamed member of the family, wondered aloud just how dark their baby’s skin would be when Meghan was pregnant.

Hey, once you’ve gone that far on national TV you need to name names.

Still, I thought the family welcomed Meghan - Harry said they did - and genuinely celebrated their nuptials. In fact, the queen loaned Queen Mary’s diamond encrusted tiara to Meghan for the big day and, if I’m not mistaken, Prince Charles walked Miss Meghan down the aisle after she dissed her own dad.

Now they’re barely speaking to the rest of the royals. Hmmmm. Looks like one of them had a history of family drama.

This is a couple with no self- awareness and zero appreciation for what’s going on in the world. Have they not noticed the Covid pandemic? Are they unaware that people across the globe are hurting right now, trying to find work, pay their bills, educate their kids?

Do they really think this is the right time to grumble about how sad they were living a life of unimaginable wealth and privilege in the royal compound?

Why watch them?

Like so much that happens with Britain’s royal family, this is another Windsor train wreck.

It’s hard to look away. And it’s entertaining.