Lets begin today with a quiz:

Does President Biden have cancer?

I may not be a grammarian, but I know my tenses. I am quite clear on  the difference between “had” and “have.” And during a public appearance yesterday in Massachusetts the president clearly said he HAS cancer.

No joke, as Joe likes to say.

Cancer in the leader of the Free World is big news. But as soon as Biden blurted out his cancer status a panicked White House communications staff walked it back. Those harried workers deserve raises, incidentally. They spend their days and nights trying to clean up the president’s oatmeal-fueled drivel.

No, he doesn’t currently have cancer, they insisted. He once had non-melanoma skin cancers removed. You know, the kind that keep Virginia Beach dermatologists in late-model Mercedes, because those particular lesions are common and caused by overexposure to the sun.

I listened to the president again. And again. He clearly indicated that he currently has the disease. And he blamed oil on the windshield of the car his mother drove - when he was a kid - for the malignancy.

Ah, but Joe forgot that the results of his annual medical exams are public. The physician who conducted his most recent physical blamed Biden’s earlier skin cancers on - wait for it - spending too much time in the sun.

There is no mention of oil slicks on windshields as being at the root of his skin problems.

The doctor’s analysis makes sense. Remember, Biden said he was a lifeguard when he took on that “bad dude” Corn Pop. No one spends more time in the sun than a lifeguard and Biden was doing it before sunscreens were perfected.

So either Biden has a new cancer now and our blurter-in-chief just broke the news. Or he’s pretending to have cancer now so he can fabricate a story about how he got it to fit his nutty climate agenda.

Or he mixed himself up with someone else who really does have cancer and misspoke.

Or he has forgotten how tenses work in the English language.

Or he has dementia and has no idea what he’s saying.

Take your pick.

Just remember, this confused old man holds the nuclear codes.

Feel better?