A version of this appeared in The Virginian-Pilot on January 15, 2014.
Why would anyone watch TV's "The Young and the Restless" or even "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" when a riveting, real-life soap opera was unfolding right around the corner?
I'm referring to the high-octane Tonya S. Bundick arson trial that began Monday in Virginia Beach Circuit Court and ended Tuesday with her last-minute change of heart.
he courtroom was full of media types. The public missed its chance.
Prosecutors say Bundick is one-half of the notorious Eastern Shore serial arsonist team - let's just call them "Burnie and Clyde" - accused of torching scores of vacant buildings in rural Accomack County during a four-month spree.
Her former fiance, Charles R. Smith III, who pleaded guilty to 67 arson charges months ago, was the star witness against Bundick.
In one poignant moment Monday, Smith pointed to his co-defendant with manacled hands, sobbing, "I still love her."
Oh, the drama.
During the two-day trial, Bundick's legal team attempted to portray its client as a devoted single mother - albeit one who invited a former crackhead with 30-some felony convictions to live with her and her two young sons - and the unwitting driver of Smith's getaway car on the night of April 1.
After all the evidence was presented, the 40-year-old defendant kept the case out of the hands of the jury by entering an Alford plea. In other words, she didn't admit she was guilty of arson and conspiracy but acknowledged that prosecutors had presented enough evidence to convict her on the two charges she faced.
The abbreviated trial offered a little bit of everything: star-crossed lovers, stakeouts and sparks. Lots of sparks.
On Monday, defense attorneys told the jury that Smith's motive in implicating Bundick was jealousy.
"He could not stand being in the penitentiary and knowing his beloved, the person he wanted to marry, was out there," her lawyer said.
On Tuesday, a member of the defense team dropped a colorful profanity during the cross-examination of Smith.
And in other testimony, one of the arresting officers - who spoke with an accent - mentioned that Bundick had a chopstick - or was it a ChapStick? - hidden in her bra on the night of her arrest.
Weird. All of it.
According to prosecutors, the lovers began lighting up the Eastern Shore in November 2012 and didn't stop until they were caught on April Fools' Day.
Bundick, of course, denied involvement. On Tuesday she testified that on the night of April 1, the couple drove around on country roads until Smith asked to get out about 11:30. She never asked why. State troopers with night-vision goggles watched as he ran to a vacant house and set it on fire. Then they watched as Bundick returned for Smith. A few minutes later, the two were handcuffed.
One thing's certain: About 70 fires erupted during the arson outbreak, and weary volunteer firefighters were called from their beds night after night to put out the blazes.
Smith implied that the fire-setting was emotional. The first house was torched when the couple was "having a bad night," he recalled. They were driving around when they saw a vacant building and decided to burn it down
In the beginning, Bundick set the fires, Smith said. But once, after his girlfriend got "cut up" and nearly caught, Smith gallantly decided to take over.
"I told her if we had to keep doing the arsons, I'd do it," he testified.
Ah, love.
Unlike scripted television dramas, in life many questions are left unanswered and loose ends untied.
For instance, that chopstick (or perhaps a ChapStick?) nestled in Bundick's bosom on the night she was arrested. What was it doing there?
I caught up with the prosecutor Tuesday and asked.
"I'd better not comment on that," said Gary Agar, his face flushed.
Darn.