Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

Until recently, I had no idea how many lonely brigadier generals there were in the world. 

But at least 10 guys who claim this rank have sent me Facebook friend requests in the past few months. Their profile pics show clean-cut, good-looking middle-aged men in uniform. In the “about” section of their profiles they all claim to be widowed or single and living in either Afghanistan or other far-flung locales.

And they’re all desperately seeking women on Facebook. 

Call me unpatriotic, but I ditched their queries. They bore all the earmarks of catfish accounts. Set up by weirdos who have stolen the photos and identities of others and who swarm social media looking for suckers. 

I thought about these cyber-creeps this week when Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced that his social media monster is getting into the dating business.

Gee, what could possibly go wrong?

Facebook exercised such exemplary care of our personal information in the past, why wouldn’t we trust them with truly intimate stuff needed for a dating profile? Besides, they’re promising that this time they won’t use the information to target ads.

Yeah, sure.

Frankly, this is an awful idea being shopped around at a terrible time. Zuckerberg is audacious to even suggest it right now.

According to wired.com this is how Facebook's matchmaker feature will work: 

“Facebook will use a unique algorithm to match you with potential dates, based on ‘dating preferences, things in common, and mutual friends.’ You will also be able to find romantic interests via shared Groups and Events. For example, if you're attending a concert, you'll be able to ‘unlock’ your profile, so that potential matches who have said they're going to the same show can see it. The social network says it's going to start testing Dating later this year, and that it's not going to use information from the feature to target ads.”

It’s been 30 years since I went on a date. I'm no longer an expert on the subject. Back in the '80s people hooked up the old fashioned way. On the beach. On blind dates. At weddings. 

Even so, we found lots of losers.

But trusting Facebook to find a match? You’ve seen the company’s track record. 

I’d take my chances with Tinder. Or lonely brigadier generals.