Jeff Toobin: Hands Down Dumbest Zoom Member. Ever.

WARNING: Due to the subject matter, this is not a PG post. Don’t blame me, it’s Jeffrey Toobin’s fault.

Thanks to CNN’s senior legal expert, Jeffrey Toobin, it looks like office managers need to set some new rules for staff Zoom meetings.

How about these: 

Wear pants. 

Keep your hands on the table.

Make sure the camera is OFF before whipping out your genitalia.

Perhaps you heard, but in case you didn’t: The New Yorker - where legal genius Toobin also works - held some sort of nutty election Zoom simulation last week. Staff members engaged in role playing with each other, pretending to be Biden, Trump, the far right, the left wing and the military, with Toobin taking the role of “the courts.”

Apparently this wasn’t so much simulation as stimulation for Toobin. During a short break he took out his man-thing and well, you know. 

But this Harvard grad didn’t turn off his camera. His co-workers were presumably astonished by what they witnessed. A few of them reportedly carried on as if nothing was happening.

This couldn’t wait a few minutes, Jeff?

At first details were slim. Word went out that Toobin was suspended from The New Yorker and was on leave - for personal reasons - from CNN. Imagine that. CNN’s best legal mind will be sitting out the debate and vote on Amy Coney Barrett.

Vice dug a little deeper, published some juicy details and forced the Harvard grad to comment.

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera,” Mr. Toobin said in a statement. “I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers.”

“I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added. “I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me.” 

Geez. Toobin could be the best argument yet for getting people out of their bathrobes and back into their offices. This would never happen in a conference room.

In August - just in time for the election - Toobin’s book “True Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Investigation of Donald Trump,” was published.

I hesitate to point this out, but I did a quick Google search and learned that, depending on where Toobin lives, exposing oneself on camera could also be a crime. Or a misdemeanor.

Not to worry. Toobin won’t be prosecuted.

You’ve got to hand it to Jeffrey Toobin. He singlehandedly ruined his own career.

Thumbnail photo by Larry D. Moore.