If Your Porch Is Piled With Amazon Packages Shut Up About Stay-At-Home Orders

Sometimes you read an entire news story and just one sentence sticks with you.

That happened this weekend when I read an online piece on the pandemic. In it the experts admitted they’re not sure how or where the virus is spreading. Following a quote from one of these public health experts, the reporter added this:

In the last nine months, he’s only been to a grocery store twice.

My first thought was, Yeah, but I bet his wife shops every week.

Perhaps I’m too cynical. There’s a chance this man is single. Or he’s been fasting since March. Or he’s a prepper with a garage full of staples.

More likely, he’s like a lot of people: prosperous enough to have groceries delivered to his home.

That’s fine. I don’t care if people want to stay in their houses, avoid supermarkets, restaurants and gyms. As long as they don’t add their voices to the chorus of Karens begging the governor to lock down the rest of us.

And they’re out there. Just read the comments after any Tweet by Ralph Northam. Some are upset that we ever reopened the commonwealth.

The most galling aspect of shutdowns orders is that they work only for the middle class, which can hide at home while the working class fetches things for them.

You know the types. They love to post stern “Just Stay Home!” messages on Facebook, while their front porches are piled high with Amazon boxes.

They want YOU to stay home, but not the folks who keep them comfortable in their hibernation.

You can be sure they don’t want farmers to stay home. Or meat packers. Or supermarket workers. They definitely don’t want plumbers to lockdown. Or sanitation workers. Or HVAC repairmen.

Most of all, they don’t want Amazon or DoorDash drivers to stay at home.

After all, how would the I-never-leave-my-house crowd prepare Coquilles Saint-Jacques for dinner if someone else didn’t plop the ingredients on their doorstep?

With a sharp increase in the number of Covid cases this fall, governors and mayors - mostly Democrats - are racing to see who can issue the most oppressive stay-at-home decrees.

So far, the prize may go to Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti who, on Friday, ordered people to avoid excess walking.

Walking, driving, travel on public transport, bikes, motorcycles and scooters are prohibited, other than for those undertaking essential activities.

These officials can’t admit that their mask mandates, their curfews, their shutdowns and their bans haven’t worked. Despite their endless emergency orders, the virus is doing what viruses do: It’s spreading.

So they blame the victims. Or that one guy at Home Depot last week who wasn’t wearing a mask or that family with an extra person at their Thanksgiving table.

Let’s at least be honest about shutdowns. They do nothing but kill small businesses and allow the middle class to feel virtuous as they sit home.

Waiting for the next delivery.