Silence Please

By Krys Stefansky

Shopping is so weird right now. It starts with the mask - covers my mouth, my nose, sometimes my eyes. Geez.

Then there‘s all kinds of stuff to pay attention to.

The cart handle wiper outside the store. The cautionary sign on the door - Wear a Mask, Social-distance, Stand Six Feet Apart....Then the arrows on the floor. The touching, the handling, the distancing, the dodging, more arrows, plastic shields, plastic covers on the register keypads that keep me fumbling around like I’ve suddenly gone blind.

Good grief. My head‘ll explode.

And through it all, the music.

Could we stop the music? Just this one thing? Just until shopping is back to normal?

While I’m standing there in front of the same blank shelves I’ve revisited every week for several months by now, some inane music is blasting out of the ceiling.

Doesn‘t help.

I don‘t want to hear Gaga when I can‘t find disinfectant wipes for the umpteenth time.

Music, music, music while I see that  I “just missed“ the day‘s restocked bags of flour in normal sizes. Again.

Another store...La, la, la, la.....The washable masks? Had them this morning. Gone now.

Underwear? Not in the size I‘m looking for. None in the size ANY people are looking for. Hooks are empty, empty, empty. La, la, la, la...

One more store. Music, music, music....coffee filters. Suddenly, none to be had. None whatsoever. Now they’re for coffee AND for stuffing inside masks. That’ll be the next sign: “Coffee filters: Limit, one per customer.“ Music, music, music!

These days, shopping makes me feel like I‘m losing my mind. Music, music, music....