Gray Matters and Golden Bachelors
Had enough terrorism and politics for one week? Weary of Elon Musk and Meghan Markle? How about Ron DeSantis and Gavin Newsome?
I thought so. Today, let’s go in a different direction.
We’re thinking of a new daily feature for the website called “What Are We Offended By Today? “
Let’s give it a go, shall we?
On Wednesday, for instance, the Offense of the Day would have been Melania Trump’s outfit at Rosalynn Carter’s funeral.
For those of you who’d thought we’d moved on from the days when there were strict rules governing how we mourn the dead, you don’t know America’s leftists. While they may appear grungy when they’re in the streets cheering on terrorists or glueing themselves to priceless art works, these radicals apparently have a strict set of rules for what one must wear to a funeral:
Black.
That’s the only acceptable color and for women they say. Oh and that black must be in the form of either a shapeless pant suit or a sacky black dress.
Sitting down? Good. Seems Melania Trump had the audacity to turn up to Rosalynn’s funeral in a gray tweed coat.
Shocking, I know.
There she was, tall and elegant, seated at the end of a row of frumpy former First Ladies. They were attired in regulation black. But Melania might as well have been giving Rosalynn the finger, dressed defiantly in her gray tweed coat.
How dare she!
It was New York Magazine that first pointed out that Melania’s gray coat made an “awkward” appearance at the funeral. Trump haters quickly joined in.
I don’t mean to be ugly shaming, but frankly it wasn’t Melania’s coat that made her stand out from the other ladies, but rather her striking beauty.
It took a lot of poise for Melania to pay her respects to Rosalynn, given the chilly relationship she enjoys with her counterparts. And the media. Yet there she was cool and dignified, at the invitation of the Carter family.
At one point during the service, Melania’s coat opened. Behold: Hidden under the Dior coat was a black dress.
Too late. The photogs had their picture. The left had its narrative.
Standing in for her husband, Melania Trump had disrespected one of her predecessors.
Wait. What’s this? Looks like it’s Rosalynn Carter at Nixon’s funeral.
Never mind.
“The Golden Bachelor” is ABC’s attempt to breathe some life into a moth-eaten reality TV show. In the past, contestants looking for love came on either “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette” vying for the affections of one lucky woman or man.
“The Golden Bachelor” that debuted this fall had a twist, however. The bachelor himself was actually a 72-year-old widower named Gerry Turner. The story line went that this retired restaurateur hadn’t had a date in almost 45 years. He’d been moping around ever since his beloved wife died a few years ago and now he’s looking for romance on TV. His children convinced him to try out for the show, and that’s how this all-around good guy and great catch came to be pimping himself out to a bevy of attractive senior women.
Confession: I haven’t watched any of The Bachelor franchise products. In fact, I’d rather stick needles in my eyes. But a number of people were fascinated by the concept of lonely old people looking for love. The opening show set a Bachelor audience record of 13.9 million viewers.
There’s a twist, though. Always a twist
The day before “The Golden Bachelor” finale - that was last night - The Hollywood Reporter ran a story headlined “The Golden Bachelor’s Not-So-Golden Past.”
Uh-oh.
If the Reporter’s story is accurate - and they seem to have the receipts - Gerry’s kissed plenty of women since his wife died in 2017, especially one named Carolyn. He convinced that lady to move in with him and promptly began charging her $1,000 a month for expenses. He insisted they go Dutch when they went out to dinner. (She paid him at that house and he charged dinner on his credit card, so he didn’t look like a penny-pinching paramour.)
Carolyn gained 10 pounds - from stress, she said - and Gerry refused to take her to his high school reunion “looking like that.”In fact, evicted her from the house.
Oh, and his description of himself as a retired restauranteur? He once owned a fast-food joint that closed in the 1980s.
On Thursday night Gerry was set to pick between Leslie or Theresa.
Spoiler: He picked Theresa Nist and they’re getting married next month.
My advice to the “winner”?
Run!
