Kristi Noem’s New Work Of Fiction

Back in 1993 some of us snickered when basketball great Charles Barkley indignantly claimed that he’d been misquoted. 

In his autobiography!

Ooops.

Looked like somebody had a ghostwriter.

Then again, Sir Charles is a lovable athlete. No one expected him to be a man of letters.

Likewise, no one expects politicians to be Hemingway. But we like to think they shoot for honesty when they publish their self-serving life stories.

I was reminded of Barkley on Sunday when I heard South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem giving an interview to CBS on her autobiography, “No Going Back,” being released today.

This is a quote from her book:

“I had the chance to travel to many countries to meet with world leaders—some who wanted our help, and some who didn’t. I remember when I met with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. I’m sure he underestimated me, having no clue about my experience staring down little tyrants (I’d been a children’s pastor, after all). Dealing with foreign leaders takes resolve, preparation, and determination.”

As soon as this excerpt was leaked, cynics asked how it could be true. Had the North Korean dictator really met with the governor of South Dakota? If so, why?

During an interview Sunday on “Face the Nation” Noem stuck a fork in her political career - if her account of shooting of Cricket hadn’t already done that - when asked about the bodacious claim that she’d gone eyeball to eyeball with North Korea’s butterball.

CBS’ Margaret Brennan asked Noem is she’d ever actually met Kim Jong Un:

“Well you know, as soon as this was brought to my attention, I certainly made some changes and looked at this passage, and I’ve met with many, many world leaders, I’ve traveled around the world,” Noem responded. “As soon as it was brought to my attention, we went forward and have made some edits. So I'm glad that this book is being released in a couple of days, and that those edits will be in place, and that people will have the updated version.” 

Brennan: “So you did not meet with Kim Jong Un? That's what you're saying.”

“No, I’ve met with many, many world leaders,” Noem said. “...I’m not going to talk about my specific meetings with world leaders, I’m just not going to do that. This anecdote shouldn’t have been in the book and as soon as it was brought to my attention, I made sure that was adjusted.” 

So Noem’s not going to talk about her many meetings with world leaders? Good one.

Lady, you’re the one naming names!

There are only two explanations for Noem’s gibberish reply to Brennan’s straightforward question: Either the governor is an inveterate liar, like Joe Biden. Or she had a ghostwriter and didn’t bother to even proof her own book.

Trouble is, it can’t be the latter because Noem recorded the audio version of her autobiography. We know she read it. 

Which means she’s a fabricator. Perhaps she thought no one would factcheck her claim a la Corn Pop or Uncle Bosie who was eaten by cannibals.

After four years of Joe Biden’s outright lies about himself some of us have overdosed on leaders who invent stories to make themselves look good. Noem can’t even blame her flights of fancy on dementia, at least Joe’s apologists have that.

When rumors spread that the rodeo queen from South Dakota was on Trump’s short list for veep, all I could think of was another attractive, tough female governor from another red state.

Sarah Palin.

With the Kim Jong Un and the cricket execution confessions Noem probably saved Donald Trump from making a McCain-like mistake. 

He should thank her.

We all should.