No, The Kids Aren’t Alright

Well, that’s 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

I’m not proud of this, but last night I succumbed to relentless social media promotions for a new ABC sitcom, “The Kids Are Alright.”

A half-hour show about an Irish-Catholic family with eight boys set in California in 1972.

That’s got to be amusing, right?

Every clip that popped up on Facebook or Twitter - and they appeared constantly for the past week - was hilarious.

Ah, the 70s.

This will be fun, I thought. I can watch it and write about how there’s a yearning in this country for a simpler time. When we weren’t glued to our phones, when children played without parental meddling. When half the kids in the neighborhood had their arms in casts from falling out of trees or pick-up trucks.

A time before lawyers, bike helmets, play dates or car seats. (Shoot, my mother drove around with my baby brother in a box on the floor of the car. For “safekeeping.”)

Most promising of all, when I Googled the writer, Tim Doyle, I learned the he based the scripts on his own wacky, mostly male family. And he refused to be pressured into including sisters in his TV family, the Clearys.

Unfortunately, Doyle’s family may have been amusing but the show about them wasn’t. It was soporific, predictable and boring.

I see a quick cancellation in its future, which is a pity because it means the much-loved actor, Michael Cudlitz, who was killed off two seasons ago when he played Abraham in “The Walking Dead,” will be out of work again.

As I reached for my remote last night to turn on the show, I realized I had no idea where ABC was on our Verizon FIOS channel lineup. Network TV? Never watch it anymore.

With good reason, it turns out.

I’m not going to pretend to be a television critic, but the show was terrible.

Even its title - ridiculously close to the terrific Oscar-nominated film, "The Kids Are All Right" - was a sign that the creators are just plain lazy.

They couldn’t come up with something original?

If you were lucky enough to miss the premiere don’t be tempted to tune in next week.

You’re welcome.