Hurricane Hustlers Rooting For Deadly Storms

You would think that the 2024 hurricane season, which just set a record for the longest stretch in more than 50 years without a single late-summer cyclone, would be a cause of celebration.

Until this week there wasn’t a named storm since August.

Those of us who live along the coast are delighted that our roofs are still intact, we aren’t doing the backstroke in our living rooms and Jim Cantore, the Weather Channel’s “Hurricane Hunk,” hasn’t lashed himself to a lamppost on Atlantic Avenue.

You know who isn’t celebrating?

Climate alarmists. You know, those unwashed sourpusses who cheer for violent and especially deadly storms so they can point fingers at those of us who drive gas-powered cars to work. It’s all our fault. There were never hurricanes or tornadoes until the invention of the combustion engine.

Oh, and one other group is mopey: Hurricane hustlers.

You know, those soothsayers who publish scary predictions every year about how many Category 5 ‘canes will be buzz-sawing through our towns.

This year most of these “experts” predicted 25 named storms. So far, there have been only five and just three were hurricanes. One of those, Beryl was a Cat. 5 and it devastated parts of the Caribbean and caused significant damage in Texas when it made landfall in early July as the earliest category 5 hurricane ever.

Yet the Atlantic has been eerily quiet ever since. 

Yes, yes. There are still two months left in hurricane season, but September 10th - that would be today - usually marks the peak of the Atlantic storm season.

And it’s pretty quiet around here.

So let’s all take a moment to extend our sympathy to Phil Klotzbach who leads Colorado State University’s hurricane season outlook department. 

He forecast a wild hurricane season and was feeling pretty pleased with himself after Beryl.

“Everyone was going big,” Klotzbach told The Washington Post, citing predictions of a flurry of more than two dozen storms. “It wasn’t like there were two or three models that said something else.”

 Here’s the paragraph that really caught my eye in The Post story:

Even as meteorologists can detect factors contributing to the lull, they are struggling to understand why those factors have overwhelmed conditions that might otherwise fuel intense storm after storm. Many who warned the public to prepare for a dangerous summer and fall are now caught in the awkward position of almost rooting for storms, lest they end up eating crow — and losing the public’s confidence — when their predictions fall flat come November.

These puffed-up academics, sitting in their labs thousands of miles from the Atlantic Ocean are secretly “rooting” for storms that will flatten our houses, leave us without power, drown our pets and maybe us, so they can feel good about themselves.

Or so they can secure more government funding for their crystal ball activities.

This may be an academic parlor game for Klotzbach and company, but it’s life here along the coast. 

I hope the experts don’t mind if those of us who actually live here and have to make hard family decisions about riding out a storm or evacuating don’t join them in wishing for devastation.