Dave, the fact that you were hunched over your lunch reading an article on the breakthroughs in electronic watches is a sign that you are a deeply disturbed man.
All tagged Dave Addis
HE SAID, SHE SAID: Mind If I Measure Your Head?
Hang on ladies, they've found another way for us to feel inadequate.
Is your waistline smaller than your head?
HE SAID, SHE SAID: This Shutdown Is Getting Old
As for wine and Cheerios — well, most connoisseurs would recommend a crisp chenin blanc, but I think a light Spanish rioja works just as well. A-salud’.
HE SAID, SHE SAID: Pandemic Peeves
Yup, just what America needs right now: A choir of millionaires harmonizing from their mansions about how wonderful it would be to live in a world without “possessions.”
HE SAID, SHE SAID: Geezers? Oh, Please.
Hey, who are you calling old?
HE SAID, SHE SAID: Working From Home? We’re Here To Help.
If you’re just starting to work from home, invest in elastic-waist pants. Quick. Before they close all the Walmarts.
March Madness: Vasectomy Season
A similar stampede to get snipped happens in April during the Masters.
Who Wants To Be Governor of Virginia?
I now realize that if I’d stayed in Virginia, I’d be maybe 4th or 5th in line to be governor. I could be just steps away from ... The Mansion!
Commatose
How do you tell your 12-year-old daughter that her mother - comma - who earns a living as a writer - comma - doesn't know a comma from a carburetor?
Keep Your Drunken Hands Off My Liver
It's pretty simple to say we should deny livers to lifelong drinkers, and lung transplants to wheezing smokers. But once you take a step down the pathway to playing God, the footing gets pretty treacherous.
Politics. Virginia Beach-style.
The all-you-can-eat-taxpayer-funded buffet could close down and developers might have to start paying for their own projects.
The horror of it all.
So You Want To Be A Newspaper Columnist
We had ready-made retorts: A litany of all the soul-crushing jobs we’d had on the way to our “cushy” columnist gigs.